This one goes out to all the Husbands of Stay At Home Moms

Hey Husbands, listen up. Because guess what? You Rock.

I'm going to direct my thoughts towards Caleb today, but all of you SAHM's can go ahead and substitute your husband's name, if you so choose.

Caleb, you and I have chosen our path. We decided even before we were married that I would stay home with the babies and you would work to provide for us. We decided it even before we really knew what it meant or what it would be like. We didn't know how difficult or how wonderful it would be, we just knew it was right for us.

We still don't know everything, but we certainly know a lot more than we did.

SAHM's are an interesting group of people, one that is often written about and praised and glorified. And rightly so! We work hard. Really hard. There are human bodily fluids to deal with on an hourly basis, there is nearly constant food prep, endless chauffeuring, and mountains of laundry to summit. SAHM's are amazing, period. Choosing to live this sort of life is good proof of that.

But what about the other half? The other one who also made this SAHM decision? The one you couldn't do it without? Where is his praise?

My work is hard, we've already more than established that. But mine comes with rewards that far surpass the sacrifice. Along with the bodily fluids and the summitings, I get to read to them and feel them snuggle their warm little bodies into mine. I get to feel and know, because I can see it, that I am their safe place. Their comfort. While Caleb, the one who is providing this warm home and couches and books and blankies and food, the one who is making my comforting safety possible... he has to leave.

He works just as hard as I do, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Our work cannot be compared, and it drives me crazy when the world tries to do that. We both work really hard, can that please be enough? We are yoked together, pulling on the same family plow. But my work is seen by the family, while his isn't. Sure, the kids and I talk about it. Often! Dad is gone because he is making money to buy all that we need. They've been to his work, they know what he's doing. But do they?

And does he know? Caleb, do you know? In this great work we are doing together, I am physically in the thick of it all day. I see it. I feel it and smell it and hold it. All day. Caleb, you only get a few precious hours each day. Is it enough for you to know? Do you know that your work is eternally necessary? Do you know that your sacrifice is noted?

Another thing. My work has one main focus, but the daily work changes. Yes, the regular necessities are the same, but we do other things, too. We visit cousins, we go to the zoo, we spend hours at the library, we work in the garden, we ice skate, we read books, we sew, we paint. We clean up a lot of messes. But we sure have fun making the messes!
Caleb's work has one goal also, but his daily work stays relatively the same. The people he works with are not his cute little family, although he has some really wonderful friends and works with great people. He doesn't have to clean up bodily fluids, but he doesn't get to hear Jonah say, "Claire, you're my best friend."

When the praising of stay at home Mom's is being done, when she is standing on her pedestal and feeling the love and crying at feeling some recognition, the Father should be standing right up there next to her, receiving the praise equally with her. Caleb, I couldn't do my great work without your great work.

And how come I get a title, but he doesn't? Shouldn't there be a special phrase to describe the husband of a stay at home Mom? They are a social group, just like we are. They shoulder the financial providing alone, and that is something that should be socially recognized at least as much as we are. Sure, once they get a title they'll be open to the mocking and belittling that we sometimes receive from this confused world, but at least they'll be recognized.
"Single income family" doesn't really do it justice, right?
"Sole Provider" doesn't do it for me.

"Defender of Family Utopia" has a nice ring to it.

:)

Thank You, Caleb. From the deepest depths of my depth, every minute of every day, Thank You.