Magnum Opus

In a recent perusing of a few of my childhood articles, I came across a journal. Inside the back page of the book, I had written a "things to do in my life" list. There wasn't a date, but from what I gathered I think I was somewhere around 15 when I wrote it. 

It was enlightening to see what my ideas of achievement were back then, and how they have changed with time, and also how they have changed only slightly. 

You want to know what was on the list, huh. I can tell.

I'll give you a few.

• Get married in the temple.
• Heli Ski.
• Own a suburban and have enough kids to fill it.
• Tandem the LOTOJA with Tess.
• Go to Alaska.
• Create something truly truly artistic. A masterpiece.
• Serve a mission.
• See the David.

I've accomplished a few, and have a few to go, and the suburban one might need to get scratched off. Maybe. That is yet to be seen. 

The one that intrigued me the most was the one about creating a masterpiece. I remembered writing it, and wondering when I would do it. I wanted to create something stunning and remarkable and perfect. 

In my art studies in Alaska I caught a little glimpse when I painted this.

The assignment was to paint a self portrait, but this is what came out. It was definitely a self portrait. There is so much meaning and symbolism packed into this painting... it really deserves a post of it's own. As far as the "rules of painting" goes, it's far from perfect and has some major flaws - but as far are as creating goes, I was on to something. 

My professor felt it too, and wanted me to do another one. But I couldn't. I didn't feel ready. I wanted to create a masterpiece, and didn't feel like I could. 

I often thought about my magnum opus over the years, wondering what it would be and when I would accomplish it. 

As I read over my list last week, I realized that the feelings of wondering when it would happen were gone. It had actually been a long time since it had even crossed my mind. I no longer had that desire to create something totally fantastic. 

I had to wonder about this new thing for a few days.

Then, finally, I realized why. Why I no longer felt this burning need to create something truly stunning and remarkable and perfect. 

It was because I already had. 

 

It was you.

And you.

And yes, you too. 

And those others who are still coming. 

This magnum opus is far more frightening than I ever expected it to be, but it is mine. I helped do it. Part of my very self went into it, and I am forever changed because of it. 

Creating their bodies was only the beginning. Helping them know who they are and what they can become  - that is my great work.